Leadership comes in many forms
Whether you want to lead others or just find your own voice, I help girls tap into their individual leadership potential.
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Praise is one of humanity’s deepest cravings. It satisfies our need for acceptance. It can give us meaning in our lives and it can help to build our identities. It’s easy to see why parents dole it out thickly to their children. However, when used improperly, the compliments can harm the very people we are trying to encourage. In fact, Dweck’s experiments showed that, sadly, the brightest girls collapsed the most.
Here's how to avoid the pitfalls of praise and, instead, motivate your child to excel!
Being Too Nice Holds You Back
Fear of Failure
Unwarranted criticism. Constructive criticism. Professional criticism. Mean girl behavior. Being bullied. Being judged. Being singled out. Girls lump them all together because they all feel terrible to them. So, the simplest way to escape criticism, even though it can help you grow, is to not put yourself out there in the first place. But identifying which type of criticism is being pointed at you, it’s a lot easier to handle and more likely that you’ll get back out there.
The final problem we need to solve in this workshop is the kids’ fear of taking on leadership roles. Why do we feel fearful when we we think of leadership? "Because, when you ask someone what the word “leadership” evokes - what images, words, symbols, feelings or people spring to mind? Responses are usually things like “vision,” “inspiring,” “greatness,” “Winston Churchill,” “Superman” and “awesome.” The underlying idea is clear: leadership is a major, even heroic challenge, needing exceptional qualities. But do most of us believe we have these qualities? I suspect not." - John Scouller
As young, perfectionist girls grow into adult women, and perhaps mothers, we seem to be doubly susceptible to negative self-talk. So, instead of going out for a day of pampering to help you recharge - which, frankly, lasts precisely as long as it takes the nail polish to dry - consider these strategies instead. They last a lifetime!
It is possible to be both humble and competitive at the same time. Passion may have something to do with it.
Adam Grant says that leveraged well, procrastination can have powerful benefits like enhanced creativity and huge leaps in critical thinking. This approach is especially good for unsolved tasks.
However, how should I explain this to my kids so that they don't feel they can continue allowing their rooms to look like bottoms of bird cages in the name of creativity? How to ensure they don't start to believe forgetting or putting off projects and assignments is their ticket to intellectual brilliance?
The problem is that this isn't the kind of procrastination that's beneficial. Procrastination only helps divergent thinking and incubation as long as you don't wait too long which, ironically, often happens when you are disorganized.
Goldilocks procrastination. That is the goal.